I have been having feelings of people not trusting me. Its actually pretty unusual for me to have these, this in particular, feeling. Things have changed, including me. Its really hard to explain, but I'll try. When I am active and doing well in weight loss, it seems to also make other things almost crystal clear. As if I am able to feel things that I have been suppressing. It is liberating. I am able to purge both literal and figurative fat from my life. I have lost 40lbs of actual fat and the amount of figurative is still mounding. Unfortunately, there is some parts of my life that if you really start to see that maybe, just maybe I need to shed it or make a change. Today, a conversation that was had, really had a lasting effect on me, which in this particular instance was not good for the other parties involved. I really feel like the line of trust that I have had with these individuals has been strained for months. Today, these feelings and thoughts that I have been having, they were validated. I always try to be forth coming, helpful, gracious, generous, helpful, and most importantly a team player. All those traits which I think, and a lot of people I know agree, were challenged in todays conversation. I have always thought this way, if you don't trust me, then I don't need to be in your life. I still stand by and agree with that thought.
I'm still trying to figure out what to do about these feelings. Its really all I can think about.
